Ashbloemstraat

One more step.

Today David and I are going to get our marriage license. That is pretty exciting. Then we're going for a drink with Zeebah and we'll probably bore her to death with wedding talk, because that is all that is going on. UNLESS she wants to talk about refinishing the kitchen - we can do that too! Or working in the backyard!

Also I have become obsessive about checking the Accuweather.com 15-day forecast every morning. I know I cannot expect it to be accurate but at least I can prepare myself should it even appear that rain looms in our future.

I've spent my time this morning reading A Visitor's Guide to the Baghdad Green Zone. It sounds like it was once a really interesting and beautiful place. I have no plans to go anytime soon, though I am seriously itching to go to Afghanistan. If I could figure out a way to go without my family killing me first than I probably would. Perhaps we should change our honeymoon plans? I'm sure there is nothing quite like making love with the dulcet tones of machine gun fire in the background!

Thoughts just rolling through.

1. I met Carrie for dinner and drinks last night, and we had a really nice time out; first at Meridian for half-price food night, where I deviated from my usual seared-tuna salad and tried the Guinness steak sandwich. It was not overly delicious, but since I'm not eating much meat anymore maybe I just was not used to it. But whatever; it was like, $4. Anyway, after chow we went down to Double Wide to have a drink with Davey - it was dead dead dead, which suited Carrie & I just fine as we were able to babble loudly and play whatever we liked on the jukebox. It was nice to have Carrie out and about, because it has been a while - actually, now that I think about it, we've NEVER really gone out for evening drinks and such just the two of us, I don't think, so it was a fun change. Neither of us has been drinking much/at all recently, so after a couple drinks we were a little loopy. Cheap dates, we.

2. All the RSVPs seem to be squared away now, and we have gone over our estimated number by about 30 people. Oops. Then again, everyone says that we can count on some of the people who have RSVP'd yes to still not show up, so maybe we'll only be over 15 or so, which seems ok. To be honest, in a lot of ways our numbers are not that big of a deal - there is plenty of space, we just want to be sure we have enough food and drink, you know?

3. And yet I still get irritated. Here is my new one - a person says "I'm going to try and make it". Uh, ok. Look, it isn't a kegger in our backyard and no big deal if you decide at the last minute to come - it is a wedding. We're renting chairs and hiring a caterer and there is an agenda and I have to buy stuff. It is YES or it is NO. Seriously, I don't care if I have a few people who are still hoping for cheap flights or whatever and I have them in a small but important MAYBE list, but this is someone who lives in the area. Just make a committment already.

4. David and I just had a really sexy morning. GRRR. MEOW. I want to go home. I LOVE THAT MAN.

5. I have accomplished almost nothing this week I wanted to do, with the exception of thank you notes, which are easy to do on the go. I was going to get all this stuff at Michaels, and go pick up the tile at Home Depot so I could tile the kitchen counter backsplash. Nope, nada. After seeing my cousin tonight and Zeebah on Friday and going to Carrie's shower on Saturday, I am not making ANY MORE social engagements. Unless they involve friends coming to my house and cutting and pasting stuff. So if any of you want to do that, come on over! I got lots of paper cranes to string, too.

6. OK, there are like two jobs I am going to apply for in Europe with my old employer. If I do not get these, I have decided to let the European dream die. It is just too hard, and it is time. I've been gone now four years and I need to just let it go as a happy and important time of my past. Instead, we'll move to either Hawaii or Alaska, because those are sort of foreign-like, but we don't need visas! And that's my bright idea of the week. And I'm sure it is yet another idea I'll forget about in a few weeks. I'm easily distractable like that.

7. Lillet - your comment on the post yesterday? Exactly what we were saying! So here's hoping I do get this job after all. That could work out pretty well.

8. Speaking of Lillet, my days are without joy now that I cannot chat with her on IM every day. My soul weeps with loneliness as I stare at this stupid screen every morning. I miss her here. Sigh.

I like my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth every once in a while.

The January 5 show of *Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!* is officially one of my favorites.

Today I was encouraged by the department I am temping for to apply for an open position here. I think I am over-qualified, but I did not put them off at all, and said instead I would read over the job description and get back to them. I like the department I am in and it would be a great company to work for, but I also do not want to sell myself short.

I have come to terms with the fact that a.) I probably need to have someone professional help focus my resume; b.) I really need to get on the ball and get a master's degree finally; and c.) PROBABLY I will do better in a city other than Dallas. So I may just have to sell myself short for a while and try to get a quick MBA or something while I work in Dallas and move on from there. I am seeing a lot of interesting jobs, none of which are here. But I am not quite ready to move again yet - I tend to have a three year minimum in places, and we're just in our second. Also, I do not think we are ready to move away from David's grandmother quite yet - she is in remarkably good health for her old age, but she's had a couple falls recently, and I think it is best we stay another couple years.

I feel remarkably more relaxed about the whole thing now that I have some income. Can't get lazy though. Well. Can't afford to get lazy, really.

Meh. Work, shmerk.

So this weekend David and I are having another date, wherein we will figure out the toasts we will be making at the wedding. We are having a "toasting ceremony" after the actual marriage ceremony, where everyone can make whatever toasts they please - but we decided that we really wanted to do all our major thank yous in front of everyone instead of the night before at the rehearsal dinner. So hopefully other people will give some nice toasts as well. We'll keep the time to a half hour or so at most, so they all have to be short.

We have also decided that we will give ourselves a little gift on the day of the wedding - we're writing each other a love letter, and will seal it in a box with a bottle of wine from the wedding. If we hit a particularly rough patch in our marriage we will open it up and read the letters and drink the wine together. Otherwise, we'll do it on our 10th anniversary. And maybe we'll keep doing it every 10 years from there on, now that I think about it. Seems a decent tradition to keep, eh?

RSVPs

I don't understand why all the RSVPs I am waiting for are either my mom's or David's parents' guests. Is not the older generation supposed to be the better with Wedding Etiquette and such Traditional, Olde-Tymey things? Apparently not!

Thank you, my fellow Generation X-ers, for not leaving me hanging. Baby Boomers - GET ON IT.

Post part deux, this time from home!

It's nice to write at home, because I can actually use the Typepad interface, and select categories and include photos and such. That photo is from this time last year. I thought it was pretty funny.

Since I also can't respond to comments from work, and usually when I come home I am too tired, I thought I'd just post an entry in response to a couple things. Why am I not so tired right now? Oh, I came home and stupidly had a almost 2 hour nap. Great. No sleep until after midnight for me.

Anyway, first of all, I'm over the woman who asked if the other woman was coming. I mean, I still think it is beyond rude, but David did not seem to think it was out of character for this person and he's more friends with the husband. So whatever. There's always a couple weirdos about.

Secondly, I do, of course, love This American Life, like all cliched white people do. However, I like Wait Wait! Don't Tell Me! at work because it is a very superficial listen, whereas I tend to get lost in TAL stories. I think my productivity would take a nose-dive if I started listening to it, frankly. Sigh.

I also thought of something else we decided to let go for the wedding - favors. We had a couple different ideas, but then I was all - you know, I just want to spend that money on PPT or wine or whatever. There are a couple little things people can take home anyway, and while they aren't coordinated FAVORS per se, they will just do. I don't really think it is something people miss, and with the exception of some seeds I've received at weddings that I was really happy with, I remember almost NONE of the favors I've ever gotten. So more beer for you guys! Woo hoo!

 

Re: The Departed. Brilliant. Love it. EXCEPT for that very last scene with the rat in front of the State House. OH WOW, MARTIN SCORSESE! Am I supposed to understand that there are rats in the government after a 2.5 hour movie that was about JUST THAT? It was a little stupid, but I liked the rest so much I guess I will forget about it.

David and I are still really hopeful to go to Vermont for my annual 4th of July trip. It's tough though because flights are so expensive right now. I would so hate to miss it though; this is like, my fifth year? Then again, if we stay then we don't miss a friend's wedding party, so really it works out either way. I will just remain zen on this one.

Sigh. I miss air travel the way it used to be for me. Plentiful and cheap.  Those days are long gone, however.

Really, I suppose that is all I have. I should scoot off and use my wakefulness wisely, by writing some thank you notes. That is one of the things about planning the wedding - I have always tended to keep a lot of open time in my schedule to just do whatever I like. This is one of the first times I have needed to use almost all of my time for tasks. It is not really a bad thing. Just... different. I wonder if I will miss it when I go back to normal.

Updatey.

My mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law threw me a rather lovely ladies-who-lunch type shower on Saturday, which focused more on the material items we have registered for (rather than the honeymoon account, though we did get a couple nice donations). So now we have beautiful new kitchen items arranged attractively upon the living room table, since my plan for finishing the kitchen is going much slower than originally intended. But as I said before, I'm letting that pressure on myself go, and I am just going to do everything as I can without making myself crazy. So we will just admire the new servers and bowls and linens as we walk in the house each day for now until I finish more permanent places to put them.

I am also letting some details go because they do not really change or effect the final outcome, which is that everyone is going to have fun/food/wine, and David and I will be married at the end of it. Originally I was going to do assigned table seating, mostly because I wanted to be sure different friends had a chance to meet new people - and also because I liked the idea of creating a big poster for it, I admit. However, I know my friends tend to be pretty outgoing and will probably interact just fine without me creating a big dumb construct for it to happen. And I'm not going to think about those damn table runners anymore - I won't hem anymore of them, but I have cut the edges with pinking shears and I'll just use them with the jagged edges. Which I think is sort of sweet and homemade looking and that really fits into what we're going for here anyway.

That really leaves ONLY my dress work and food, and that feels reasonable and do-able and non-stressful. Oh, and finishing the guest/picture book so it will be ready for our Polaroid photo-booth, but I finished most of it last night while watching The Departed (finally, after having the Netflix dvd for a month, and lordy was it good).

I have fallen sorely behind on the little 365 project on Flickr, but oh well. I just haven't been carrying my camera recently. I don't know why. Just busy and not thinking about it. I am going to try and get back to it this month though. It's sort of an important month. It is fun and so romantic and sexy and we are, honestly, the goofy couple who every evening now lays down and says "27 days! I can't believe it! I love you!" and then we do it. Which is also kind of funny because while I know the relationship psychology changes, our days are not suddenly going to change dramatically once we get married. We will probably just wake up and say "We are married! I can't believe it! I love you!" and then we'll do it.

What else. We had a fun weekend; both worked Friday night at Doublewide and made some decent cash. David worked there Saturday night too, and I wanted to see the show so I was there as well. I've been meaning to see if it was a full moon, because the crazies were out in FULL EFFECT that night. I was happy to be sober so I could stay level-headed through it all, but a couple lunatic girls were drawn to me during the I Love Math set, and I was so irritated they kept talking to me through the band I wanted to see that I wanted to escort them out (I did nothing to encourage them to talk to me, by the way. I don't know why they picked me, but it seemed pretty random.). PLEASE, PEOPLE. If you just want to babble incoherently, please do it to someone at the bar and NOT in the venue where they might want to pay attention to the show. Kthanx.

Conversation re: last entry

dani: Alcohol may have exaggerated the response a tad; that said, it is not only annoying, but blatently rude. Sheesh, people. Have a little klass.

ashbloem: I know, right? The woman in question seems like a nice person, but I thought that was one of the rudest things I ever heard.

dani: Maybe they have never been to a wedding before.

ashbloem: I'm sure I am just being unreasonable. I should have made this big spreadsheet and mapped out who gets along and who doesn't, and had two separate ceremonies. I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable.

dani:
You know, it is really all about making your guests feel comfortable. Perhaps you should have just had the wedding in a high school cafeteria so she would have been the most comfortable.

You choose the ending! Alcohol, or justified annoyance?

So it has been about two weeks since I cut down on the drinking, and I say "cut down" only because this wedding business also requires wine tastings and I've happily partaken of those. But those mean I only had the equivilant of a glass or two here and there and that's good for me. Because of the antioxidants, you know.

The main difference is two-fold: I can feel the decrease in calories both ever-so-slightly in my pants, and ever-more-so-slightly in my odd sugar cravings, which I do nothing with because I don't like sugary things (except one of the first days, when I decided to have some peanut M&Ms, my first packaged candy in, oh, say, a year or two, and I almost vomited I found them so vile).

I feel I should make it clear as well that I have cut down mainly because of the amount of calories I calculated I was drinking on a daily basis. I am not an addictive person by nature and just as smoking and any other narcotic I may have tried in my life were not too difficult to set aside, nor do I find alcohol to be so - though it is by far one of the more fun vices and in that way I do so hate putting it by the wayside for a while. But it is, indeed, one of the most fattening. So, wedding dress, I have done this for you.

Clearly some people cannot have a healthy relationship with alcohol, and while there have been times in my life that I veered a bit that way, I do not think I'm one of those people generally. I am pretty in tune with what my body tells me to do, and a couple of weeks ago it said "Please, Ashlee, give me a little rest from the liquor and in return I'll be sure you look nice on your wedding day" - so I listened.

However, last night David and I shared a couple bottles of wine (over the course of about five hours, so we weren't exactly swilling), and I note how much more tired and dehydrated I feel this morning than I have the past couple weeks. Blech.

But one thing I think might be true is when I have had a few, I am quicker to irritation. THOUGH OFTEN NOT WITHOUT CAUSE. So listen to this:

Last night we were trying to follow up on the last of the outstanding RSVPs, and David called one of his friends to see if he and his wife are coming. They actually asked if another person was going to be there because the wife and this woman had some sort of falling out, and if so they weren't sure if the wife would come.

OOOOOO I GOT SO MAD SO FAST. I mean, seriously? We're inviting you to one of the most special events in our life and you actually ASK US if someone you don't like is going to be there because you might not come if so? SERIOUSLY. JUST AS I SAID THE OTHER DAY - GET THE FUCK OVER IT. I mean honestly. I can see saying to your husband after the fact "Oh I really hope X isn't there because I'd prefer not to see her" but to make that the contingency of your attendance? Well EXCUSE ME for wanting you to come have some fun with us and the 159 other people invited (and by the way, this person is not invited anyway).

I was so aggravated I was all "WELL THEY ARENT INVITED ANYMORE ANYWAY BECAUSE THAT'S JUST STUPID" and David is all "Why are you yelling at me?"

So, I don't know. Maybe the wine made me over-react. Though, I sort of feel the same way thinking about it right now, so maybe not. What do you think? Alcohol making me unreasonable? Or is this really annoying?

Random list of thoughts I cannot follow through on presently, but might at some point in the future.

1. My previous shoulder-shrugging dismissal of Hillary Clinton is evolving into a deep loathing.

2. I actually really really like writing thank you notes. I think it is reminding me of how, once upon a time, I was a good letter writer. Maybe I need to get back to that. It is very satisfying.

3. Last night I locked the keys in the car. That was a bitch.

4. MY invitees have been very very good about RSVPing. David's and our parents' guests? Not so much.

5. To commemorate the wedding, I want to get a tattoo of a typeface "d", or maybe "a + d". But I am as yet unsure where I want it to be, so I've drawn one on to see if I like where it is. I'll try a different location tomorrow.

6. My days at work have become infinitely more pleasant since I discovered "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" is one of the few internet radio shows NOT blocked.

7. I really think I might be in love with Michael Ian Black. This love has only slightly surpassed my love of Bret McKenzie but NOT my years-long affair of the heart for CNN's Richard Quest. (Sorry, David.)

8. Every day as I listen to the news I ponder the fall of the Roman Empire. Or a seeming lack of civic virtue, anyway.

9. I still think I'm more interested in a job than a career, but some challenges and responsibilities would be nice again.

10. Remembering to take my vitamins does, in fact, make me feel better and happier. THANK YOU WHOLE FOODS.

Tah-dah!

I do think to some degree I'm going to be a sort of one-trick pony on this blog for this next month, and by that I do not mean I will finally post a video of that crazy thing I can do with my tongue; but that the topic will almost inevitably be ALL wedding. Or I will start on another topic with the best intentions and it will drift towards WEDDING. And it is probably worse right now because I am really trying to get a lot of it sorted within the next two weeks so that the two weeks prior to the event can be as low-key as they possibly can be. I am all about having things finished early so I do not have any undue stress the preceding days.

So what do we have? Mostly just getting the rest of the booze, buying the food, and getting everything that needs to be printed done. Not so bad at all. I still have my tablerunners and my dress to work on, but if I discipline myself they can easily be done within the next 2-3 weeks. We have to borrow coolers from friends and family so we'll start picking all those up soon... and mapping out the decorations. But generally we just need to pray for no rain. I actually feel really good about everything. The lack of stress is very satisfying.

I am so overwhelmed by how many of my friends are coming from far and wide. More than I expected. I am so so so touched. That reminds me I had better call the hotels to wrap up the block bookings.

/END BORING ENTRY