Raging terrible.

I have been hating myself for the past couple of days.

I got ridiculously drunk Saturday night. I do not know how it happened so quickly and dramatically - even David remarked the next day that it seemed to happen very fast, and one might say furiously. Could have something to do with only really eating a half a burger that day, but whatever. There are whole spans of time that I have absolutely no recollection of that night, except for one part where I decided to tell the owner of the bar's boyfriend how I don't care for him. I am positive I was the worst kind of obnoxious drunk generally, and there is a lot for me to be embarassed about. Which is saying a lot, since I am not easily embarassable. I woke up wracked with anxiety and sadness, and literally had to cry on David's shoulder before I felt any better about being a dick the night before.

I am actually starting to think I should not go to Double Wide anymore. At least, not as often. I love it, but there is something about the people that hang out there that bring out the worst in me when I am drinking. A sort of aggressive streak that I definitely have - I can't deny and as anyone who has heard me talk with vitriol about the U.S healthcare system can attest - but is amplified there. I can only think of a handful of drunken aggressive episodes in my whole life prior to moving here. Now they seem to happen every month. And I really, deeply dislike that. I think otherwise I'm a pretty happy, even-keeled person. I don't like to think I am mean. And usually I avoid sticking my nose in other people's business, even if I think they are making terrible choices. I can get riled up about politics and such, but I think that's generally constructive and intelligent fire. Whatever happened on Saturday was just idiotic and vicious and I'm very very sorry about it.

And, of course, I should stop using the weekend as an excuse to get shit-faced. I have really cut down on quite a lot of my drinking since I first started this blog, but the times when I do drink a LOT seem to only get more and more spectacular. And by spectacular, I mean awful.

It is probably also a function of me being a little bored these days as well. I should do something a bit more constructive about that.

Sigh.

In other news, my sister and I decided to take a couple of those exchange students for 4-6 weeks. She has the room, and David & I have the time, so we've decided to play parents to two nice European girls. This week I guess I will start helping Meredith get the house ready, and then I'll get to see what it is like to be the parent of two teenage girls. Maybe I'll win back some karma points for my bad behavior on Saturday.

So what do you think we should plan for the girls? I'm thinking teenagers like shopping and movies and that's easy enough, but what are some other good Dallas activities for sixteen year olds? Taking the dogs to White Rock Lake seems like it might be a good choice - they both like animals. Maybe a couple museums too.

I am actually pretty excited about it. I'm sure it will be a little tough, and a bit of a challenge, but it is only for six weeks or so and I think it will be good for me.