Ashbloemstraat

Home improvements.

So, after seeing Zeebah on Friday and attending Carrie's really nice shower on Saturday (I love showers now; wish I could have another... ha ha!) and mother's day dinners yesterday AND today, I have sworn myself OFF SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS from now until the wedding. Social engagements in which I have to leave the house, that is. People can come on over if they like; and if they do not mind a disaster area kitchen. BUT NOT A DISASTER FOR MUCH LONGER, I SAY!

No, progress has been made. And while the current state (picture to follow) may not look much different to the untrained eye from the last picture I posted (see Figure A), I've actually spent the past couple days filling in the joints and corners and it should be ready for texturing by Wednesday; priming on Thursday; painting on Friday! And voila. Like that we will finally have a decent kitchen. Still plenty to be done, but the important part will be done by the wedding.

We've also been busting our asses outside - the patio will not be finished but it will be very close; close enough I think if we have some time on the wedding weekend we could even sit out there with a few beers! UNBELIEVABLE BUT IT IS TRUE, I TELL YOU. And even better than having it done for the wedding is just that the main part of the kitchen and the patio were our really big projects to do before the house would be finished, and there they will be; finished. I'd say the house (minus the finishing touches), will be complete by August or so. And I guess in the grand scheme of things redoing an entire house in a little less than a year and a half is pretty good (if not a smooth ride).

Now if we can just get it straightened up.

In fact, we've been so busy with the house that we have done very little wedding-wise the past couple days. I have this feeling that this week is my last window to get all the house bits done, because after this week the wedding is TWO WEEKENDS AWAY and all my spare time will go to the final bits and bobs for it. Nothing too stressful but I'm sure more will come up than I can think of right now.

Oh I also painted our front doorway and we finally got the porch light in and it looks so good! Also we got rid of all the beer cans and bottles that had accumulated on the front porch. While it lent our home a certain neighborhood street cred, in the end we felt that since we are the white people it was a little more frat house than Cinco de Mayo party and added them to the recycling.

The recycling is not part of foreplay, but it is very important nevertheless.

Oh yeah, and that kitchen.

Anyway, not so much to report yet. I've gotten stuck on step 2.5 out of about 5 steps, as the boys who did the plumbing didn't really do it so good. After doing most of this house alone, I thought it would be a good idea to get someone in who ostensibly knew about pipes and putting the sink in properly. They seemed to know what they were doing, until I turned the water back on and everything was installed backwards. OH and it leaked.

Oh well, lesson learned. If I want something done right, it might just be better to take longer and do it my damn self. Then again, if I had gone the other way and completely fucked it up i would be saying the opposite. So I guess the REAL lesson here is WHEN INSTALLING A KITCHEN THERE IS NO PAIN-FREE WAY.

(DIGRESSION: I can't stop thinking about all my new sexy underwears.)

Little things that made me happy today.

1. I polished all my silver flatware. I bought a whole bunch of silver at an estate sale years and years ago because I was throwing lots of parties and needed more forks and knives and such, AND it happened to be the same pattern my grandmother had. However, I never once polished them before now. They look really pretty! That isn't all of it above, by the way, just a smattering. It really took me a couple days to do it all. I have no idea why I had not done it before. This behavior is hereby rectified.

2. Today's activities included an extended excursion to Ikea to price out a new kitchen cabinet, and peruse other, more unnecessary items. I always love Ikea (always, that is, when it is the middle of the day and very very empty). I got random kitchen items and some curtain rods, as well as more fabric for the wedding which should be enough now (oh yes and lots of tealights for the wedding - woo hoo!).

3. BACHELORETTE! WEEKEND! IN! BOSTON! I leave on Friday. I sort of keep forgetting it is so soon. I'm so excited to see most of my wedding party ladies plus a few extras. Yay, Boston. How I miss you, despite how obnoxious the South End was growing.

4. I'm in this weird spending mood, which is bad, though fortunately with me they happen so rarely so I can't give myself too much crap for it. Plus I'm all about SALE items, so I bought some nice white sheets for about $20, which is nothing; and I got a nice new shower curtain, which was not on sale and relatively expensive, but I don't buy shower curtains very often so I consider it worthy of a non-sale purchase. Also I bought some naughty knickers. I AM having a lingerie shower soon but they were on sale and so cute and dirty I just couldn't resist.

5. David just sent me a text and he is on his way home early, which at 10:30pm is early indeed for a Doublewide night. We'll watch a movie and fool around before going to sleep. What a perfect evening.

Feeling destructive.

As I swore I would do, I got up Friday and promptly scrubbed the filthy kitchen walls clean with ammonia, painted the ceiling bright white, then primed the primary portion of the kitchen (I am focusing on the cooking part of the kitchen first, and then will move on to the dining/storage area). That took me most of the day and due to the fumes may have permanently damaged my lung lining, but it felt GREAT (I may have also been somewhat high from those fumes, come to think of how great it felt).

But what felt even better was when I got up Saturday morning and ripped out the kitchen cabinets I have hated so so so so much since we moved in. KNOCKING THINGS OFF THE WALL IS FUN. The dust and detritus less so, but within a week or two this area is going to look wildly different. I'm doing some schematic drawings right now to figure out what we need to buy to fill in the sink/surface area you see above. The minute I figure out the most cost effective step to take, I'm going to rip that shit out too and teach myself how to reinstall that sink. BOO-YA.

We shall see if we end up flooded or something.

In other news, I am going through a period of being very unhappy with Dallas. Admittedly, I have enjoyed it more than I thought I would, and in the end David has a couple of nice jobs he is finally satisfied with (FINALLY). But my experience has remained spotty - working with my mother and the house has been stressful from the very beginning (though I have liked the labor and learning and minimal cost of living), and has taken longer to make friends than I would have hoped (but not necessarily EXPECTED - I've met lots of lovely people but it is a lot more work to make those relationships take hold because the distances between people is so much more here).

Of course, it is on the job front I am feeling most disappointed and disenchanted and most certainly dismayed. I guess in Boston I was a pretty typical and desired member of the job force - I never went more than a month without a job and I certainly fielded far more interest than I am receiving here. And I have to say, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, DALLAS? I mean, seriously. I've done everything right. I have a brand new resume; I have tailored each cover letter. I have a great education and eleven years of experience in sales/marketing and/or HR. And I'm getting diddly-squat. I was even turned down for a two-month TEMP JOB. They said they went with someone with more experience. I had to bite my tongue to not say "EXPERIENCE IN WHAT? STAPLING? FOLDING PAPER?"

I may be feeling a little bitter.

But I'm also trying NOT to feel this way, or at least to go with it a little bit but not let it consume me. Something will come up, and then I will miss my time off and wish I could sleep late and stay at Doublewide on a Wednesday until 2am.

I am also sure I can improve upon some things in my cover letters and such, so I'll just keep plugging away at it.

Blah. Ripping out cabinetry is so much more satisfying.

BY THE WAY: the question about Madison is because a company from there contacted me, and that suddenly seemed like a really fun and heretofore unconsidered option.

Comparison.

We finally went grocery shopping today, after quite awhile. And when I say "quite a while", I mean we had the following conversation:

"What should we have for dinner?"

"Well, we have pasta."

"Pasta and what?"

"Pasta and........ ur.........olive oil?"

Literally, we didn't even have garlic. We have parsley and greens in our garden but otherwise it is pretty dire.

So finally we went and restocked ourselves. Veg, cottage cheese, yoghurt, herring, etc..

Yet, something didn't feel right. We had to go back out. And now everything is complete.

I'm not sure how long we would have lasted without that boxed wine in the fridge.

Mmmm. Boxed wine.

_____________________________________

Personal blogging month: I'm writing every day from December 2 to January 2.

Unproductive.

So, about a week ago I was talking about how I felt a little at maximum capacity. It has been another week like that and I am beginning to seriously doubt my ability to be a competent mother some day, because it would seem that a two-bedroom house, a husband, a car, four cats, and a full time job is WAY beyond what I am capable of as it is and still remain a clean and happy person.

I am very project oriented, I have come to learn about myself. For example, I was very focused on finishing a lot of the details in our front room this week. But once I get focused on one thing, I have a really hard time devoting serious - nay, ANY - attention to other things. The living room became the encompassing project, which meant I couldn't maintain the tidy office, or do ANYTHING to the bedroom (which has gotten out-of-control messy), or clean the bathroom mirror. I mean, I go to the bathroom multiple times a day, notice the dirty mirror, and say to myself "BUT I MUST FINISH THE LIVING ROOM THEN I WILL CLEAN THIS ROOM". It would seem that despite what my resume says I am not much of a multi-tasker.

So my evenings are in a sort of project->make dinner->downtime cycle right now, which keeps me relaxed and not running around like crazy but definitely means a lot of things are slipping by the wayside. Last night I tidied away some more things, then I made lobster bisque (which made me very happy, but certainly is not quick preparation), visited a little with my sister and David, then went to bed. That was the whole night.

I haven't been to the gym in four days and until tonight hadn't taken a shower in three. I feel bad I haven't run but I felt even WORSE being so unwashed so I spent a good couple hours tonight in epic shower mode, deep conditioning and pedicuring and slathering rich creams and potions on myself. I feel quite a bit more fluffy and hydrated than before. But hey, why so long, Ashbloem?

I keep a nice rhythm to my life but feel hopelessly behind in everything. I suddenly realized David and I haven't even LOOKED at wedding bands and as for a wedding dress? I've got nothing.

Maybe I'm just lazy. It is certainly a possibility.

I think I just really need to be excited about something.

I need to start devoting some attention to this wedding, at any rate. That's an exciting thing for sure.

D.I.Why?

I cannot say the bathroom is completely finished, but it is so close I can barely stand it. In fact, I just was trying to finish some things; decided I was rushing, and chose to take a break.

The kitchen in this house will be the biggest project, but the kitchen is at least USEABLE in the meantime. It is ugly but functional. The bathroom, however, was not. The house had been sitting for over a year, empty, and an already very bad bath became very VERY bad indeed. So bad that the floor had rotted out and it all had to be ripped out. Even after the floorboards and the tub had been replaced, it still looked like this:

What made an already difficult project even harder was that the bathroom was pretty shoddily done in the first place. If I knew then what I know now, I would have ripped out every bit of drywall and just started over. Unfortunately, I was just learning, totally stressed from the move, and it was the one thing standing between us moving into the house or having to stay longer with my sister. So I let my mother's husband take the lead on this project. Lovely guy, but let me tell you: BIG MISTAKE.

Whoever had redone this bath in the 80s (I was old enough that I remember it being done, but young enough that I do not remember any details) did a really bad job. There were parts of the wall where drywall was nailed on top of more drywall. Wallpaper was put directly on the drywall. Everything was just a mess to start with.

Enter lovely mother's lovely husband. He is a very handy guy, but to be honest, he's getting up in years and frankly, I don't think his heart was in it. My mother wanted to save money on the housework (understandably) and pretty much ordered him to do it. He made a lot of mistakes (the hot and cold taps in the shower turn different directions than they should). He covered holes by layering drywall the way the anonymous 80s contractor had done. He didn't level the backerboard for the tiling. And the worst thing is that he didn't finish the walls before putting in the toilet and sink.

By the time I had learned about a lot of this stuff it became apparent that the bathroom would be beyond quality work - I just had to figure out a way to make it relatively quality but look NICE. So I (and yes, it's been me for the most part; David did some of the tiling but it is just too small for two people to work together) worked on trying to even out the walls as best possible, caulk holes due to uneven backerboard, and generally just try to make it as decent LOOKING as possible.

Now I am at the end and am so ready to have a pleasant bathroom, even I have started to cut corners, though I figure in a room so crappy to begin with what's the point of being perfectionist about it? I decided against wood baseboard because I just can't be bothered to cope joints for walls that are a mess. So I'm using some sort of plastic board, which is super easy but I definitely feel like I'm doing as secretive a crap job as the two people before me.

I am trying not to feel bad about it though. If it was a house we owned and loved, it would be different. But it feels like one big experiment anyway; one giant trial run. It is my grandparents' house, and I will always have fond feelings for it, but I have come to learn that it was REALLY POORLY BUILT. I am SO glad I DON'T own it.

So anyway, other than finishing and caulking the baseboard tonight, putting in a new light, and putting hooks on the wall, it is finished.

Same view as above:

From the bathtub:

Hooks for the wall:

The boys "helping":

So yeah. I would do it ALL differently if I could start it today. It doesn't look bad, but when you come over, you will see how... RUSTIC it is. But I'm going to pretend like that is what I was going for all along.

Meh.

Progress.

This photo is for Jenny:

Thank you everyone for the kind words for Marley. I have been, to my surprise, so much more sad about it than I had anticipated - not that I thought it would be easy, but that I just thought about it logically for so long that I did not give much thought to how I would react emotionally. That is, I always imagined that the moment he got sick I would hug and love him, I would take him in and calmly say goodbye. Then I would go home and feel good about doing the kindest thing. That was the scene in my mind. But I never thought about how sad I would be or how hard it would be to not see his little face in the morning, so it came as a shock. I gave myself a couple days to cry and give into it, but now I feel good and am even thinking about getting another one. I've always ALWAYS wanted a little polydactyl cat, but felt four was too many. So maybe it is time. We shall see.

In other news, today was an asswhip. My mother stayed true to her word and came over to clean out the garage. It was 96 F out. I'd been out to Lee Harvey's last night for a friend of Davey's show and hung out with some nice people and Davey and I fooled around until dickety thirty in the morning, so I'd had no sleep and was a touch hungover. And the garage was chock-a-block with... junk. In my mind, junk. But one man's trash, as they say, and it certainly was her treasure. There was almost nothing in the garage that was mine, just our suitcases and my Kronan (<3), so I just had to sort of direct the proceedings.

My mother is a collector, a hoarder. She has a very hard time letting go of anything. The things she agrees to let go of still go into a pile for The Garage Sale. Now, my mother talks about having garage sales... well, she's talked about them forever. Yet I remember maybe five garage sales my entire life. So these things end up piling up somewhere. Her house. Her garage. This house. This garage. Two storage units. Seriously, it is a sickness - I would sign her up for that show where people come and force you to give things up (Clean Sweep?) if I thought she would actually agree to it. But she wouldn't. She is very stubborn.

(By the way, Dallas people - if she DOES actually have a garage sale, I'll tell you about it, because she has a lot of practically new stuff.)

 

Recently, the past year or so, she seems to be getting better. She has been more proactive about going through her things. She still is a chronic shuffler, however - piles for the office, piles for The Garage Sale, piles for home. Little actually goes away. I'm really trying to support her and encourage this new behavior, but it is hard because I TEND to throw a lot away and I have little patience with this particular trait (I'm sure it is also a common thing for daughters to have little patience with their mothers generally).

As I have gotten older, I am actually terrified of becoming like her (In this way - in most ways she's lovely). I throw away a lot. I'm not perfect, of course; I have a big box of clothing that desperately needs to be eBayed, as well as a lot of old photos and such, but until I get a scanner and convert them ALL to digital, and I someday WILL, they will have to be stored. I already admitted to you I have tons of perfumes, and I don't even want to talk about the lip glosses and balms scattered about, and my yarn is OUT OF CONTROL. But I do not get attached to things in an EMOTIONAL way like she does. Or maybe I'm just justifying. Yikes.

Anyway, that's been my whole day. Real exciting for you, I know. To redeem this post, I will tell you my new recipe for white bean spread. I love white beans blended into a spread; I used to do this a lot but sort of forgot about it until now when we are eating more beans. You just blend canned cannellini beans with olive oil, salt, pepper and herbs - sage, rosemary, or parsley is what I usually use, but last night we had a handfull of basil that needed to be used so we threw that in instead. But the NEW thing was this: we put in an AVOCADO. We spread it on knäcke and it was wonderful. Of course, we were tipsy, so keep this in mind.

I booked our tickets for London yesterday. I'm so happy about that, even though I'll be working part of the time - Davey's friend Jimi may meet him there to keep him company during that time, which would be fun for them, and fun for me come evenings. My job mainly consists of creating European itineraries right now, so I'm a little obsessed with getting back. I am happy for everything that has happened and I wouldn't trade it all for a visa, but I sure am missing my Amsterdam quality of life recently.

Meh.

I'm feeling somewhat antsy tonight, but at the same time not really wanting to DO anything. I started painting the bathroom and I really want it finished, but I just can't motivate myself to do it right now. It's a tiny room so there is really no excuse for my laziness. I also have material sitting here, washed and ready to make a skirt, as well as some yarn I pulled out to make this lovely little lace cardigan, but meh. David is at work so I do not have that distraction. I started the poem the other day and don't feel creative enough right now to complete it.

A lot of my anxiety I know is probably about the house - we're a little stuck right now, because we have things stacked all over the kitchen we want to put in the garage so we can clear and clean it to plan that renovation. And it is the room that needed it MOST of all. But my mother has been using the garage here as a storage facility, so we can't use it at all. It's been ok up until now because we couldn't unpack everything anyway. But now we've unpacked and know what we want to keep but store out of the house and it is just sitting there in the way. I mean, my SKIS are sitting there. I'm so irritated by it. But she PROMISES next weekend is the weekend she will clear her stuff out of the garage. So I just have to be patient.

Tonight I unpacked the last of the books. Damn, we have a lot of books. I remember how many I left with Mr. Noncommittal and wonder at how I had such a collection that travelled with me to Europe and back. It's still quite unwieldy and we need more shelves. Right now we're doubling them up and stacking them around, but it is an unsustainable system. I know once we renovate the kitchen there will be shelves in the back where we will keep cooking/music/crafting books, so again, I just have to be patient.

As I unpacked a box that had all my language learning stuff in it, I found this little drawing I made to help me remember the members of a family:

It kind of made me laugh. Because I thought I could learn Hungarian. What a loser.

Then I found the seeds I bought on one of the tours, when I went to Monticello, and I got sad that it is too late to plant most of them. I'm sure they will keep until spring, but oh well. Anyway, I am also coming to terms with the idea that I probably have a little bit of a black thumb. I do well with some things, but not others. A lot of my herbs have died - I think I planted them in a poor location. Davey, on the other hand, is very good. He goes out and talks with the tomato plants and they are doing beautifully. I'll let him plant my Thomas Jefferson seeds in the spring.

Basically, I've just been wandering around the house with my camera and a glass of white wine for the past hour. Want to see more? Sure you do. I'm bored and avoiding.

I was sitting on the couch looking at our living rooms walls, and I wish we had gone just a shade or two darker with the beige walls. I wanted it light because it is a rather dark room, and I thought it would offset the blue well, but it looks a little too... white, or something. David thought it was too light, and I might agree with him now. But we aren't repainting any time soon.

I heard some commotion at the door. Spike, the next door neighbor, had come for a visit:

This dog is so sweet but so ghetto. He smells horrible and is all mangy. I feel awful because I think he really needs some love but I just can hardly stand to pet him for too long. I might have to sneak him in one day and give him a bath. He's so so good-natured and it makes me want a dog again. I know that's just a stupid idea right now but I look forward to it when we feel like we can. But then I think that when we are ready to get a dog is probably when we're going to be ready to have a baby, and I think I can take only so many things depending on me at once, so we'll probably get a dog much later when the kids start wanting one and screaming about it or something. And that will be the best time, because when kids start getting screamy and demanding they probably lose their charm, even for the mother, and a puppy will help make it up. Heh.

Today David set up the video camera and we had a webcam chat with Dabney and Annie! It was so wonderful. Dabney and I remarked that it is good because we don't like the phone, but it makes it different when we can see each other. Davey laughed about it and said now that I have that, when he goes to work I'll probably spend the evening video chatting with them and drinking wine and it will be just like I never left Boston and he'll come home and I'll be drunk and tell him what a great evening Annie, Dab and I had. I think he may be on to something.

Last night Davey and I got drunk and watched Star Wars. It was awesome. I thought I remembered a lot of lines but he has me beat easily. In my defense, it had been some time since I saw it last, so it was like a refresher. Hopefully tonight we'll watch Empire Strikes Back, if he doesn't get off too late. I'd better slow down on the wine, I guess.

Hey, any Dallas folk reading: Magnolia Electric Company is playing in Denton on September 15. I say yes to this. Not to Denton generally, just to going to the show, though Denton reminds me of the high school boyfriend I had for a brief period of time whose first name was the same as mine and that always makes me laugh, which I just did and needed.

This entry went on a long time and accomplished little. All apologies.

Tutorial on how to spend an exciting Friday night!

Woo hoo! It's craziness here at the Ashbloem/American Boy house when David's at work on a Friday night! When the cat's away and all that! I hope he doesn't read this blog and see what I have been up to the past few hours! But I'm going to TELL YOU ANYWAY!

Start your evening by chopping up some vegetables and making some slaw! Throw in some Chinese five-spice - you are CRAZY LIKE THAT!

Then things are going to get NUTS NOW! I'll give you a step-by-step on how to have a GIRL-GONE-WILD evening like me!

  Step 1: Strip down to your UNDERWEAR.

  Step 2: Put up your HAIR.

  Step 3: Make a delicious beverage with scary VODKA and limes.

  Step 4: Ignore the dishes in the sink you left after making the SLAW. Take THAT, Convention!

   Step 5: Get out your JOINT compound mudstuffs. We're getting muddy!

  Step 6: Put some in your container. This one is good because it fits up to a 14 INCH knife/trowel THINGY. And every bawdy lady likes to fit up to 14 inches!

  Step 7: Remember to remove your jewelry. You forgot to last time and you are still cleaning CRAP off it!

  Step 8: Add some water and mix it up until it is SPREADABLE. 

  Step 9: Put some of that stuff on your KNIFE. Heh heh. ON YOUR KNIFE. (huh?)

  Step 10: SPREAD IT thinly all around!

  Step 11: Put camera away now that fingers are getting very MUDDY. The public doesn't need to see everything!

  Step 12: DRINK your vodka! You deserve it.

  Step 13: Don't forget to get the MUD off other parts of your body. You are so filthy!

Hey, for those of you who have been reading this blog a long time: remember when I used to get really drunk and fall off my high heels and sleep with Harvard surgical residents and my upstairs neighbor and couldn't remember how I got home?

Just wondering.